we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
