just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
