How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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