But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
