If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
