kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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