We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
