Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
