The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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