Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
