Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
