i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street