fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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