By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
