I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
