apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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