im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I cut my penus on the lid.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
