Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
