Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
