what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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