I need help removing her.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
