If i come over, it means nothing
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
