Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
