i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
