Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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