You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
