we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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