Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
