Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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