I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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