i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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