she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
