Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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