I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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