I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I love having hate sex.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
