Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
