you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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