I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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