Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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