How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
