it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.