look no pants
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
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This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
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My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..