there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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