I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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