my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
