Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
