So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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