i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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