They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
