But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
