i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
