there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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