do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
