: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
