You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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