You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
