I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
