Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize