In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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