it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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