Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize