these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
