Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I touched a dick in church today
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
