the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
