She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
