Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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