i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
