i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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