im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
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To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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