i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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