Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize