he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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